1. your own happiness is so important!
sometimes we think that if we are making others happy, by sacrificing who we really are, then we will be happy. this is a lie. i remember one late night in february, talking to my mission president on the phone, and he told me, "sister arnesen, your happiness is so important!" i was shocked. it's like i hadn't thought of that. or maybe i'd been so busy convincing myself that i was happy, that i forgot was real happiness was. and i wasn't happy. if you find that you are changing yourself, or trying to chase dreams that actually aren't making you happy, then change it! choose what will make you happy. even if it's the hardest thing you've ever done. even if it means hurting people you care about. be honest. live true to who you are. this might not seem like the road to happiness. and maybe for a while you'll stumble around wondering what really makes you happy. but you'll explore and you'll find it again. i promise.
2. if you don't create your life, then someone will create it for you.
i've learned over and over again that you have to be proactively involved in the creation of your own life. now that i'm not in school it was so easy to let my life to be consumed by things that are basically time wasters. i learned this year that part of creating a life that you love and want to live is daring greatly. it's facing some dark times, asking for help, and then coming out stronger on the other side. it's looking at who you really want to be and then creating goals to help you get there. it's choosing the most important things for you and spending your time doing those things.
3. God always send angels to help you.
as i entered the darkest period of my life, i wondered, quite honestly, who would be there for me. don't get me wrong, i know that i have lots of friends and people who care about me. but many of my friends are married or have moved away, so it's hard for them to be here for me consistently. amazingly, people came into my life. fellow canada vancouver missionaries reached out to me. coworkers became some of my best friends. old friends became pillars that i relied on. on my weak days i could turn to friends- old and new- for support and guidance. and then on the days that i felt completely alone, when i prayed, i felt the presence of angels, who were very near me and very aware of my loneliness, and who loved me oh so much. i promise that God will always send help and angels, whether we see them or not. he is aware of us and sends us the people we need to get through trials.
4. go outside.
i've always loved the outdoors, but this year i really took advantage of this beautiful place i live and basically got outside. if you're ever feeling like you need some perspective, i say, go to the mountains. stand on top of a mountain peak, or next to the ocean. feel the sea breeze on your face, or look at the beautiful changing colors of the leaves. if you need a quiet place to think about life, go the mountains. take a notebook (and, if you're me, a diet coke) and just think. this summer i hiked a lot around Provo and Salt Lake, i went on motorcyle rides up the canyon, i ran in the canyon. and then in the fall i went for drives up the Alpine Loop, we kept running down the mountain. and even when snow came we ran until it was too icy to keep running. if you want a spiritual experience, seeing the seasons change on the canyon trail will give that to you. so start a love affair will nature. it will change your life.
5. read more.
when i was little it was pretty rare that i would be found without a book in my hands. just call me Rory Gilmore. i would be reading all the time. my mom constantly warned me about reading late at night with little light in my room. she said i'd need glasses (ironically, i'm the only one in my family without corrective lenses.) anyways, once i started university, there was literally no time for leisure reading. but this last year i discovered that i again had the time. and if you read any of my book review posts, you will see that i got through some great books last year. i really believe that reading keeps your brain active, expands your horizons, and helps you learn how to think intelligently for yourself. and now that The Dollar Bookstore is a block away from my house, i foresee needing more bookshelves in my room.
6. giving up is not an option.
perhaps you are new to the blog, or perhaps you read this post earlier in 2015. but something that really clicked with me this year is that i was not going to give up. yes, there were days when i thought: "what's the point? blessings don't seem to be coming, so why even try?" but then there i was the next day- trying. reading my scriptures. searching for peace and answers. strengthening my faith. praying. being grateful. attending the temple. it was like i couldn't stop. and then i realized i couldn't stop because i wouldn't stop. it wasn't that i was continuing to go to church and be active in my faith because of what people would think or because i was on auto pilot. i kept going, "pressing forward" if you will, because i have a strong testimony that blessings do come, that God does listen to our prayers, that the Book of Mormon is a true testament of Christ, that the Atonement is a living principle, and that Christ did suffer, die and was resurrected for me. and i knew that if i stopped, if i let up or gave up, i would not be happy. sure, times are hard, and for a few moments, happiness seems so very fleeting. but true, complete, eternal, perfect happiness is always found in the Gospel.
7. it's ok to find a new dream.
you know in Tangled, right before the lanterns go floating into the air and magic happens and Rapunzel is wondering about her dream? she says, "I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what i might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything i dreamed it would be?" Flynn assures her that it will be. and then tells her that, if it is or if it isn't, "that's the good part. . . you get to go find a new dream." when i got home from my mission i had everything planned out. i would get married and go to nursing school and everything would be perfect. i found out though that what i thought was my dream, actually wasn't. and it was devastating. i didn't understand why something i had felt good about before my mission could actually be wrong. in retrospect i think that God was giving me the opportunity to see what i really truly wanted, and he was also giving me my agency. so i had to be brave, and not follow a dream that honestly many people wanted me to follow. taking that step was hard. and left me confused and lost for the most part of 2015. to say that there was a healing process is an understatement. but thanks to good friends, family, the Gospel and my Savior, i feel like i have been healed. and i've realized that it's ok to find a new dream. whatever that may be when doors close, it doesn't mean you are stuck, it simply means that another door, or window, is going to open. and you will find a new dream. something to be passionate about. someone to love. places to explore. so keep dreaming.
i've been away on holiday. but now i'm back and with everyone getting back into school and making plans for the school year, i'm vowing to be a better blogger. that means more blog posts and goodness for you!
you might be wondering what this picture of obviously cheap airplane pretzels and tea has to do with anything. let me tell you.
i planned my trip to canada. and because i'm a perfectionist and a bit ocd i wanted everything to work out perfectly. we [the parents and i] drove up to vancouver, and then flew from there to prince george, british columbia (in the central part of the province) where i would visit two of my areas. we had plenty of time to get to the airport on the day we were flying out. i felt pretty confident of my ability to navigate the vancouver airport. but getting there? that's another story. i'd never actually driven there... and turns out, it takes longer than i thought. suddenly it was 3:30 and we were running from the parking lot trying to get checked in. i was so upset! i don't know why but i was about to give up and say, "just send me back to utah. i'm not dealing with this!" i was a brat at the ticket counter [where a terribly nice Air Canada agent got us on the next flight to Prince George without charging us anything] and was ticked that i had to get an extra check at security. then they took away my lotion that i'd accidentally left in my carry-on bag. it was like the end of the world.
but not really.
when we finally got through security and to our very empty terminal, we settled in for the loooooong 7 hour wait for our flight. i walked around with mom for a bit and simmered down [why does window shopping have that effect?] but inside i still had that feeling in my stomach. like there was a little monster in there just waiting to explode out again.
i read a bit of my airport/roadtrip book "The Happiness Project" [ironic, i know]. i watched a movie. i listened to some tunes and took advantage of free airport wifi. but i was still angry.
when we (finally) boarded our plane i was so fidgety from all the pent up unhappiness that i couldn't concentrate. i was ticked. i really wanted for my trip back to British Columbia to be perfect. i prayed about it and, guys, i even fasted that my trip would be positive. and then i was like, "ok God, make this the happiest, funnest trip EVER."
but i'd forgotten something. i'd forgotten that God can't make me happy. he can't make me enjoy a holiday or a special event.
i have to choose to be happy. no matter what the circumstance might be.
it's up to me to choose.
and so on that small plane, flying through the dead of night, i got some chamomile tea and thought about happiness. and i made a goal that no matter what else happened on my trip i was going to be happy- on purpose.
intentionally happy.
i think i'll try that for the rest of my life.
you might be wondering what this picture of obviously cheap airplane pretzels and tea has to do with anything. let me tell you.
i planned my trip to canada. and because i'm a perfectionist and a bit ocd i wanted everything to work out perfectly. we [the parents and i] drove up to vancouver, and then flew from there to prince george, british columbia (in the central part of the province) where i would visit two of my areas. we had plenty of time to get to the airport on the day we were flying out. i felt pretty confident of my ability to navigate the vancouver airport. but getting there? that's another story. i'd never actually driven there... and turns out, it takes longer than i thought. suddenly it was 3:30 and we were running from the parking lot trying to get checked in. i was so upset! i don't know why but i was about to give up and say, "just send me back to utah. i'm not dealing with this!" i was a brat at the ticket counter [where a terribly nice Air Canada agent got us on the next flight to Prince George without charging us anything] and was ticked that i had to get an extra check at security. then they took away my lotion that i'd accidentally left in my carry-on bag. it was like the end of the world.
but not really.
when we finally got through security and to our very empty terminal, we settled in for the loooooong 7 hour wait for our flight. i walked around with mom for a bit and simmered down [why does window shopping have that effect?] but inside i still had that feeling in my stomach. like there was a little monster in there just waiting to explode out again.
i read a bit of my airport/roadtrip book "The Happiness Project" [ironic, i know]. i watched a movie. i listened to some tunes and took advantage of free airport wifi. but i was still angry.
when we (finally) boarded our plane i was so fidgety from all the pent up unhappiness that i couldn't concentrate. i was ticked. i really wanted for my trip back to British Columbia to be perfect. i prayed about it and, guys, i even fasted that my trip would be positive. and then i was like, "ok God, make this the happiest, funnest trip EVER."
but i'd forgotten something. i'd forgotten that God can't make me happy. he can't make me enjoy a holiday or a special event.
i have to choose to be happy. no matter what the circumstance might be.
it's up to me to choose.
and so on that small plane, flying through the dead of night, i got some chamomile tea and thought about happiness. and i made a goal that no matter what else happened on my trip i was going to be happy- on purpose.
intentionally happy.
i think i'll try that for the rest of my life.
why is it that as humans many of us are constantly in search of something that seems to be forever just barely out of our grasps?
why is happiness seemingly so hard to find?
i feel like i'm constantly be searching for happiness. in retrospect there seems to be so many happy memories. and looking forward, to events that i hope for, i anticipate happiness.
so why do i sometimes feel so unhappy?
as i was on my run the other day i realized that my happiness cannot be dependent on future or past events. i realized that i have everything i need to create my happiness. and when i team up with the happiness expert (my Heavenly Father) there is no way that i cannot succeed in being happy, not just in the future or in the past, but in the NOW.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul. . .
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. . .
ultimately, i choose what will make me happy.
because i was made to create, i can create my own happiness. now before i get ahead of myself, this doesn't necessarily mean that i need to go out and get all the material things that i think will make me happy. trust me. i've tried to find happiness is those things- nice clothes, cool vacations, being "cool." but it doesn't add up. the more you try to fill the cup, the more it just empties right back. that kind of happiness doesn't last.
so, happiness comes from doing things that make us happy- things that make us feel loved, fulfilled, of worth. sounds pretty simple, eh?
then why are we constantly unhappy?
i think it's because we choose to do things that we know won't make us happy. we change ourselves in order for others to like us. we try to find happiness in things that can't ever make us happy.
and i'm not just talking about the morally offensive things that obviously are not on the path of happiness. i'm talking about the self-deceptions, the self-betrayals. the moments when you keep doing something even though you feel like you swallowed slugs. these aren't bad things, but they betray who you, as a unique child of God, are created to be.
creating music might make someone insanely happy, while driving another person into the ground. science might be one person's mojo, while causing another person major stress. some people like sunshine and others like rain. some prefer crowds, others are home bodies. some are introverts and some are extroverts. just like all the sneetches on the beaches couldn't be happy if they all had starts upon thars, we just aren't tuned to be happy doing something that we don't love.
so what's the secret?
do what you love and love what you do.
and don't care what others may think or say.
in the last couple months i've been searching for what will make me happy. and i've discovered it's not going on fancy trips, it's not having tons of friends, it's not just being in a relationship, it's not having a high profile degree.
happiness is in sunshine days spent on a park bench. happiness is in cupcakes. happiness is in dancing the night away with friends. happiness is not caring what stupid dance moves you might be doing. happiness is hiking and enjoying the beautiful earth i live on. happiness is seeing my niece and nephew. happiness is in finally doing those things that i've always wanted to try.
so this is going to be a journey. of discovery. of trying new things. of finding what really makes me happy. and hopefully, hopefully, i can tune out they naysayers, the doubters, and the haters (even if they are my own thoughts). i've got the dream team here- me and God. and i trust that with His help, i'll be able to discover my own great potential, my mission, my purpose- what He knows will make me happiest.
so here's to the dreamers.
to the ones who don't give a darn.
to the movers and shakers. to the adventurers.
life is what you make it (as Hannah Montana would say) so let's make it rock.
but rock it your way.
lately i've been thinking a lot about happiness. and how we find it. i wrote a blog post last week about happiness, but after giving it some thought i realized that i couldn't be completely true to myself unless i shared with you how i know we find true happiness.
it's actually the source of all happiness.
[so get ready for a completely religious post.]
the source of happiness is in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
knowing that we have a God who isn't just some big guy in the clouds who occasionally butts into our lives, but who knows each of us perfectly and loves us perfectly.
and because he loves me and he loves you, he sent his perfect Son into the world so that we can be happy now, so that life doesn't just end with death, and so that we can also have a chance at becoming perfect.
that perfect Son, Christ, gave us the Gospel- basic principles that include faith, repentance, baptism, covenants, receiving a gift called the Holy Ghost (or the constant companionship of God's Spirit), and living faithfully throughout our lives. and that Gospel is what brings happiness.
how?
how can something that seems restricting (commandments, rules, standards) make us happy? how can being "unpopular" in the world make you happy?
it's kind of a paradox.
and it's a bit difficult to explain.
you see, you have to experience it.
you have to experience the power that flows into your life when you are obedient to commandments. you have to feel the joy that fills your heart when you make a covenant with God. you have to lose yourself, to sacrifice what you want, in order to feel the happiness that comes when you become who you are truly meant to be.
i know, it doesn't really make logical sense that these things would make you happy. but i speak from experience- they do!
and it's all because God loves us and so does Jesus.
so before you turn to anything else that might promise "instant" happiness, turn to your Father. because no matter what else you do to make yourself happy, unless you have Him in your life, you won't be fully happy.
and really, what would be the point in that?
to learn more about how God is our Father and about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, click here.
it's actually the source of all happiness.
[so get ready for a completely religious post.]
the source of happiness is in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
knowing that we have a God who isn't just some big guy in the clouds who occasionally butts into our lives, but who knows each of us perfectly and loves us perfectly.
and because he loves me and he loves you, he sent his perfect Son into the world so that we can be happy now, so that life doesn't just end with death, and so that we can also have a chance at becoming perfect.
that perfect Son, Christ, gave us the Gospel- basic principles that include faith, repentance, baptism, covenants, receiving a gift called the Holy Ghost (or the constant companionship of God's Spirit), and living faithfully throughout our lives. and that Gospel is what brings happiness.
how?
how can something that seems restricting (commandments, rules, standards) make us happy? how can being "unpopular" in the world make you happy?
it's kind of a paradox.
and it's a bit difficult to explain.
you see, you have to experience it.
you have to experience the power that flows into your life when you are obedient to commandments. you have to feel the joy that fills your heart when you make a covenant with God. you have to lose yourself, to sacrifice what you want, in order to feel the happiness that comes when you become who you are truly meant to be.
i know, it doesn't really make logical sense that these things would make you happy. but i speak from experience- they do!
and it's all because God loves us and so does Jesus.
so before you turn to anything else that might promise "instant" happiness, turn to your Father. because no matter what else you do to make yourself happy, unless you have Him in your life, you won't be fully happy.
and really, what would be the point in that?
to learn more about how God is our Father and about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, click here.
sometimes divine intervention comes in the form of cupcakes.
if you give a girl a cupcake,
on mother's day,
even though she's 25 and unmarried-
definitely not a mom-
it will get her thinking.
cupcakes aren't just delicious morsels of cake and frosting.
they are more.
they represent happiness and summer.
they are an entire cake that you can hold in your little hands.
life is like a really delicious cupcake:
it's probably going to be hard to eat,
in might be messy-
you might get some frosting on your face and fingers,
but every bite is worth it,
and ends with a smile.
so she'll carefully take that cupcake home.
and enjoy every bite at the end of a
long hard day.
and then she'll think about the
magic of the cupcake.
the magic of the cupcake
will lead her to people who are in need
of a little magic in their lives.
and so she'll go buy some cupcakes,
and spread the magic.
go share a cupcake with someone.
and feel the magic in you too.
if you give a girl a cupcake,
on mother's day,
even though she's 25 and unmarried-
definitely not a mom-
it will get her thinking.
cupcakes aren't just delicious morsels of cake and frosting.
they are more.
they represent happiness and summer.
they are an entire cake that you can hold in your little hands.
life is like a really delicious cupcake:
it's probably going to be hard to eat,
in might be messy-
you might get some frosting on your face and fingers,
but every bite is worth it,
and ends with a smile.
so she'll carefully take that cupcake home.
and enjoy every bite at the end of a
long hard day.
and then she'll think about the
magic of the cupcake.
the magic of the cupcake
will lead her to people who are in need
of a little magic in their lives.
and so she'll go buy some cupcakes,
and spread the magic.
go share a cupcake with someone.
and feel the magic in you too.
ps. why yes, i do have a strange obsession with cupcakes now. #sorryimnotsorry
