i've been away on holiday. but now i'm back and with everyone getting back into school and making plans for the school year, i'm vowing to be a better blogger. that means more blog posts and goodness for you! 

you might be wondering what this picture of obviously cheap airplane pretzels and tea has to do with anything. let me tell you.
i planned my trip to canada. and because i'm a perfectionist and a bit ocd i wanted everything to work out perfectly. we [the parents and i] drove up to vancouver, and then flew from there to prince george, british columbia (in the central part of the province) where i would visit two of my areas. we had plenty of time to get to the airport on the day we were flying out. i felt pretty confident of my ability to navigate the vancouver airport. but getting there? that's another story. i'd never actually driven there... and turns out, it takes longer than i thought. suddenly it was 3:30 and we were running from the parking lot trying to get checked in. i was so upset! i don't know why but i was about to give up and say, "just send me back to utah. i'm not dealing with this!" i was a brat at the ticket counter [where a terribly nice Air Canada agent got us on the next flight to Prince George without charging us anything] and was ticked that i had to get an extra check at security. then they took away my lotion that i'd accidentally left in my carry-on bag. it was like the end of the world. 

but not really.

when we finally got through security and to our very empty terminal, we settled in for the loooooong 7 hour wait for our flight. i walked around with mom for a bit and simmered down [why does window shopping have that effect?] but inside i still had that feeling in my stomach. like there was a little monster in there just waiting to explode out again. 

i read a bit of my airport/roadtrip book "The Happiness Project" [ironic, i know]. i watched a movie. i listened to some tunes and took advantage of free airport wifi. but i was still angry.

when we (finally) boarded our plane i was so fidgety from all the pent up unhappiness that i couldn't concentrate. i was ticked. i really wanted for my trip back to British Columbia to be perfect. i prayed about it and, guys, i even fasted that my trip would be positive. and then i was like, "ok God, make this the happiest, funnest trip EVER." 

but i'd forgotten something. i'd forgotten that God can't make me happy. he can't make me enjoy a holiday or a special event.

i have to choose to be happy. no matter what the circumstance might be.
it's up to me to choose.
and so on that small plane, flying through the dead of night, i got some chamomile tea and thought about happiness. and i made a goal that no matter what else happened on my trip i was going to be happy- on purpose.


intentionally happy.
i think i'll try that for the rest of my life.