halfway there: July 2015

. . reasons my dad is rad. .

7:56 PM

he wakes up every morning [and has for the last 10 years] to make breakfast so my mom can exercise
he massages my mom's feet every night [i don't even like feet but think this is cute of him]
he was in scouts for years and years and even hiked Timp just a few years ago [he isn't a young creature either]
when i was a baby my dad was getting his PhD at BYU and he had like no time with the family. but every night when he got he would give me a bath just so he could spend time with me.
when we were little we'd get "late nights" with mom and dad. most often dad and i would end up in the Barbie aisle at Toys R Us.
my dad used to fence on the roof with his friend John [this was when he was a teenager, not when he was my dad haha]
once when my dad was a YSA like me, he went to a church dance dressed as a gorilla- his date dressed as a banana. can anyone say hysterical?
my dad loves Joseph Smith- and so all of us kids love him too.
he used to rock a really awesome beard- he really looked like an 80's psychologist. too bad mom made him shave it before they got married
when we were little he'd call us on "mini missions." we'd go take our picture in front of the old MTC sign, get little name tags and eat a meal from the country we'd been called to. this might be one of the reasons 6 out of the 7 of us kids have served missions!
dad is easy to convince that we need something; "dad, we should stop and get frosty's at Wendy's. we need them!"
dad will join in the crazy games we play- even if they make him look foolish
even though i know his work can be very depressing and sad, he never brings that home with him. i never really understood how hard his work was until i started working in mental health as well. respect.
once my mom told me how mad my dad got when a guy broke up with me- thanks dad for being protective and for wanting me to be happy.
when i would fall asleep in the car on the way home he would carry me inside. i even would purposefully "fall" out of bed when i was "sleeping" so he'd have to come put me back in bed.

dad, you're pretty rad.

last night my friend at work told me that my dad is amazing and that he is the reason i've got such high expectations for finding a husband. you know what? i think she's right.

books

i know. it's been forevs since i wrote a post. sorry 'bout that. sometimes you just need a break from blogging. (haha i know i've been taking lots of breaks. that 18 month break just got me out of the habit.)
buuuuut i've been reading a lot! i love that i can read books- perks of not being in school. so here's a little about the books i've been reading.

Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson

My second mission president talked about this book all the time and told us we needed to read it when we got home. well, i finally got around to it. so when i found this book in my aunt's house i instantly claimed it as mine. i love this book and will definitely have to read it again because i know it will apply to like every moment of my life. i feel like i began to understand a little bit better what grace is and what it means to truly believe Christ, not just believe in Him.

"By his grace, we live and breathe. By grace, we are spiritually begotten children of heavenly parents and enjoy divine prospects. By grace, a plan was prepared and a savior designated for humanity when Adam and Eve fell. By grace, the good news of this gospel comes to us and informs us of our eternal options. By grace, we have the agency to accept the gospel when we hear it. By the grace that comes through faith in Christ, we start the repentance process; and by grace, we are justified and made part of God's kingdom even while that process is still incomplete. The grace of God has been involved in our spiritual progress from the beginning and will be involved in our progress until the end."

I think I understand a little better the doctrine of grace and my part in keeping the covenants I have made.

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Have you ever heard of or seen this TED talk? Brene Brown is a vulnerability and courage researcher. her book really hit me at the perfect time. the title of the book is based of this quote by Theodore Roosevelt.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

How amazing is that? Brene talks about how when we lose our ability to be vulnerable, we lose so many vital things- creativity, courage, and compassion. she tells her own stories about become vulnerable and living Wholeheartedly. this is not a one time read for me. in fact i loved this book so much that i ordered my own off Amazon so that i can mark it up! i have a hard time being vulnerable- i tend to put up a wall and make it come off like my life is good or that all my emotions are good. but i learned from Brene that in order to live fully i also have to make myself vulnerable, as scary as that may seem. it's causing me to ponder my life and wonder: am I daring greatly?

BONUS: All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen and Jory Johna couple years ago when i was going through a rough time, my two good friends, Jenny and Andrew, came over and visit, and they brought this book with them. to be honest, i didn't want visitors. i wanted to be alone. but they pulled out this book and read it to me. and it helped. i smiled! because this book is so ridiculously ridiculous! if i'm ever feeling a little blue or if i need a pick me up, i'll just pull this book out. you can read it in less than ten minutes. and when you close it, you will be just a bit happier.

"Sometimes I feel alone. Some days are long and hard. But when I look out into the world, I am struck by the impossible beauty of it all. Those billions of magnificent accidents that led us to where we are today, that led us to paper places and nautilus shells and the tiny, crooked smiles of children."

What should I read next???

family

. . patriot proud. .

1:57 PM

books

. . book reviews. .

11:50 AM

ibelieve

. . . cancer sucks. . .

8:14 AM

it's kind of funny [not haha funny, but ironic funny] how certain things affect your life and become important to you. that's how cancer is for me.

i remember the first time i heard the word "cancer." i was 8 and my next door neighbor had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. i didn't know what it meant, but i remember that understanding that it was serious- that she was very sick and she had to have surgery.

years later, in high school, my best friend's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. i watched my best friend take the roll of mom and her mom underwent chemotherapy and radiation. and came out on top. my senior year of high school i met chad pinkston, who had been fighting cancer since he was 16. he came back to school for the second half of my senior year and graduated with us. a year and a half later, he relapsed and passed away. chad wanted to be a doctor, and so i determined that i wanted to work with kids who had cancer. to help the innocent who suffer so much.

for years, though, my aunt, my dad's oldest sister, had cancer. first she had stomach cancer, and had part of her stomach removed. then she had liver cancer. but because she never underwent chemo, and she always seemed to recover quickly, it never really registered that she had cancer. at the beginning of june my mom called me and told me that my aunt had been diagnosed with liver cancer- again. my parents had been trying to convince my aunt to move down closer to us for years [because she never married and had no children]. finally, with encouragement from her bishop, she moved in with my parents. and that's when we all found out how serious it was. not only was my aunt fighting cancer, but she also was in liver failure. this meant that even if she took the chemo pills, it wouldn't help because her liver just couldn't handle it. her oncologist gave her a couple weeks to a couple months. we were banking on a couple months. so when i got a text last tuesday from my dad that my aunt had passed away i was pretty surprised [it didn't help that it had been a tough day at work and in my head too]. the funeral was saturday- and it was very special.

but this isn't a post about all the people that i know that have ever fought cancer, or who have died from cancer. because there are so many more people i could mention. this is a post about fighting. and about remembering. [and, well, running...]

in february i signed up to do the American Fork Canyon Half Marathon- or as the name is now, the Run Against Cancer. how appropriate that it fell on the same week, and the same day, as my aunt's funeral. and so she was on my mind as i woke up at 3:30 am to go run. i told myself that as i ran, when it became hard, that i would remember her, and remember the others that i have known who have fought cancer.

and so i ran. it was a beautiful run. when the gun went off at 6:00 the sun was just starting to break over the mountains, hitting the water of Tibblefork Reservior, sending light dancing into the surrounding trees. as i looked up at the grey rocks, covered in pine and blue spruce, i said a prayer of quiet thanks that i was able to live in such a beautiful place. looking around at my fellow runners, i saw so many running for others- Mom, Dad, daughter, grandparents. signs of encouragement were placed every couple miles to help us to keep going. my favorite: "quitters don't run, and runners don't quit." one lady i passed had one of my favorite quotes on the back of her shirt. "Don't you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust in God and believe in Good Things to come" (Jeffrey R. Holland).

i crossed the finish line at 2:03- a personal best. i was ecstatic! i had come back from 18 months of not running seriously and, despite all i've been through emotionally since being home, i'd succeeded. i'd not only succeeded in finishing the race, but i'd done way better than i hoped! running felt good. it felt right. the love i'd had for running came gushing back as i ran down that canyon and through the roads of American Fork. but more than that, gratitude filled my heart for the life that i have. for the knowledge that i have to it will be alright in the end.

yes. cancer sucks. it wouldn't take long for us to count of people we know personally who have fought cancer. or who have died from cancer. but i have hope. i have hope that one day we will find a way to cure cancer. and if that day doesn't happen, then i have hope that all those who suffer from cancer or who have died from cancer, will one day be free from their pain. their bodies will be whole. and good things will come to them.

. . reasons my dad is rad. .

. . summer reading. .

. . patriot proud. .

. . book reviews. .

. . . cancer sucks. . .

Follow Me

Labels

recent posts

Blog Archive

Popular Posts